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Veterans Day Shout-Outs

Veterans Day Shout-Outs

Posted on November 11, 2022

In honor of Veterans Day, we want to give a bunch of shout-outs to our Brotherhood & Sisterhood military vets during Friday’s Half-Assed Morning Show. We didn’t have time to get to all of these shout-outs on the air. Here are the following Brotherhood/Sisterhood members and the Veterans they wish to recognize.

  • TG Beer Slinger Chris: My awesome Father in-law Dave army vet!
  • Chris Perera: Myself, Former Minnesota Mail Lady Now Illinois Mail Lady Shezus! 6 years in the Navy!
  • Crocar2005: Krash In ZF (Daran), USMC vet, Lost life in motorcycle accident 9/19/22
  • Shingle hauling Jesus: To all of my brothers from the dorm of 119 from Norton Air Force Base in San Bernardino, Ca.
  • Baby maker sheesus: Captain Hansen, USAF, currently deployed to Pakistan
  • Dip-me-in-chocolate-English-teacher Shejus: LVC Killed a rat with a pencil Jesus who works in low voltage but is white hot! (Air Nat’l Guard)
  • Navy Electronic Warfare Jesus: My cousin Navy “CB” Jesus
  • Nick’s Next Roommate Shesus and Propane Shesus: Happy Veterans Day to badass mf’er SSG Sheridan! Thank you for your service!!
  • Lisa Hayden: My husband Scott Hayden is a desert storm veteran US navy
  • Sean and Adam: Our dad Curtis. US Navy Boiler technician 3rd class, steamin’ demon, ruler of the underworld!
  • DuckPC Jesus: Tim Struss (Navy) from Pine City
  • Pabst Jesus: Pabst Jesus spent 9 yrs in the Army with 1 deployment to Iraq.
  • Andy your favorite mechanic: Ian. Sorry your truck is broke you’ll have that on these big jobs.
  • Beater with a heater Jesus: Terry Thorson aka less dollars than sense Jesus
  • Anxious Maintenance Manager Jesus: To my older brother Jesse and his wife Amanda, they are both Air Force veterans! Thank you both!
  • Anonymous: Thank you to Nick K Jesus after 21 years of service between the Air Force and Army retiring this Aug
  • Jamie Miles: My wonderful husband, US Navy vet Aaron Miles
  • Stacy: My Husband Aaron! He served 12 years in the Army National Guard!
  • Carole Peterson: My wonderful husband James Peterson, 82nd airborne.
  • Good Not Great Jesus: I want to give a shutout to my younger brother, Dalton. Aka Minnesota Dough Jesus. Happy Vets Day
  • Ron: Adric Potter – US Army, Josh Hiltner – US Army. Honor to serve with you guys
  • Kadyn Campeau: My Dad Retired Air Force Veteran Joe Campeau. Love you and Miss You every day!!
  • Anne Robinson (dog grooming anal gland expressing shesus): Can you please do a shout out for my Dad Chuck, he is a Vietnam Veteran, thank you!
  • Little brother Trucker aka Devin: Geting a purple heart today in Ellsworth Wi from congressmen ron kind.  from an IED hit in 2005.
  • Derrick: Alex Torkelson, United States Army
  • Beth Floding: My dad George Shermer, My Father in Law Larry Floding, My daughter’s boyfriend Josh Rike
  • Hardwood Installer Jesus: Huge shout out to my dad, brothers Nick and Chad who all served in the US Navy!!! Love you guys!!!
  • Roni Hyatt: My son Jarell Hyatt – been in the Navy 12 years now
  • Out Door Rink Jesus: Minnesota National Guard Officer Brian Lupelow. Thank you for your service and your tours over seas
  • Chong: Everyone I served with in Alpha co. 1-327, ‘05-‘09. Especially all those Bastards in 2nd platoon.
  • Mari: My daughter Crystal Lorenz-Wurl, Army, 8 years active duty, 7 reserves
  • Paint slinging jesus: Plant 4 Jesus
  • Axel: Andrew Sorenson (Sorno) who gives the best knife-hand lectures you could ever expect from a Marine.
  • Trent L.: Helmut Lueck turn 26 in the trenches of France when WW1 ended on Nov. 11.
  • Hayley Tate: Happy veterans day  to Andrew LaMotte from your wife to be
  • Offended Millennial Jesus: The Aguirre brothers from East St. Paul. 5 Marines, 3 Army and 2 Air Force.
  • Rin: Ryan Ellingson, badass Marine, my brother. I love you dick bag!
  • Thomas Spence: My dad Steve Spence
  • Tera Viebrock: Dain Foss from Osceola, WI
  • Army Mailman Jesus: All my brothers and sisters that I’ve served with here in the states and overseas.
  • #BLACKSHEEPJEEPJESUS: My veteran Brother Bill. 8years Navy!!! works hard for the V.A.MEDICAL CENTER. HOOAH MY BROTHER !!!!!
  • Equipment Engineer Jesus: My daughter, a specialist in the MN Army National Guard.
  • Jessica Beebe: Happy Veteran’s Day Scooter! I am proud of your service. Love you!
  • Dave Sowada: Minnesota’s own, the champ of bare knuckle fighting Mike “The Marine” Richman”! Semper Fi!! Shout out to “Puffy, the Snacko King Slaying Jesus” Nick Watts!! Semper Fi buddy!!
  • Bill: DC1USN Jesus. 16 year U.S. Navy, Damage controlman 1st class. Been a fan since Oct 99.
  • Tyler: My father in-law Troy Steece amazing Veteran that works hard everyday
  • Triple D trucker she Jesus aka Ame: Orin Westphal,  buck sargent
  • Tera Viebrock: Squirrel, AKA Steve Anderson from Star Prairie Wi
  • Dan Iverson: My old man, Retired CW5 Rick Iverson, couldn’t be more proud of the man
  • Chris: Danny aka carpenter devito jesus. Thank you for everything that you’ve sacrificed. Oorah
  • Ryan Peterson: To my 100 year old grandpa and navy veteran, thank you for your service Ward W! -jarhead grandson
  • Andi (Makers Mark Shesus): Shout out to Uncle Aric Jesus for his service in the Gulf War. Go Navy!
  • Mexican Hips Shesus: My Grandpa Gene who proudly served in the Navy. I love you Grandpa!
  • Amanda: Army Field Artillery SSG Joe Hanson. Thank you for everything you’ve done in your 15+ years.
  • Mexican Hips Shesus: My Grandpa Gene who proudly served in the Navy. I love you Grandpa!
  • Smoking Hot Lab Tech shesus: Shout out to my favorite veteran, my husband Telemetry Jesus.
  • Anonymous: Nick Sulheim from Carver, MN. Thank you for your service brother. 🙏
  • Mike Huntlick: Jimmy Mayer
  • GetBent Shesus: my dad, David Snell (Vietnam vet) and my BIL, Ron Bent, both Marine Corp vets, Semper Fi!!
  • Patrick Lemke: My grandpa Harlan Lemke who served in the Army and was lucky to not be deployed to Vietnam
  • ItCanOnlyBeJaredJesus: Shout out to myself. Served eight years in the Army and did two tours in Afghanistan. My dad served in the Navy as a nuclear submarine tender during the Cold War. My late grandfather served in the Army during the Korean War as a radio operator.
  • Pat Reynolds: Raymond Leonard Stubbs, Cassandra “Roast Beef” Kazenzakis
Dad Fights 105: Fictional British Pop Culture Characters – Ryan vs Shaver

Dad Fights 105: Fictional British Pop Culture Characters – Ryan vs Shaver

Posted on September 30, 2022

Ryan Shaver: 6 – Randy Shaver: 1

QUESTIONS

  1. This bear was originally from Peru, but he is most known because of his home from England where has a blue jacket and a red hat.
  2. James Bond is a legendary pop culture figure out of the UK and everyone is speculating as to who will play him next, but what actor played him first?
  3. Everybody knew someone in the 90s and 2000s that always insisted on doing an impression of this movie character that was a James Bond parody.
  4. He never got to meet his parents Lily and James and spent his early life in a closet under the stairs but he turned out to be a hell of an important wizard.
  5. This video game series which was later turned a film series, stars a highly intelligent and athletic British archaeologist named Lara Croft
  6. This title character had his own TV show and a couple movies after Rowan Atkinson created the gimmick when he was in college
  7. AFC Richmond is the team that Jason Sudeki’s character is tasked with coaching in this hit show on Apple TV
  8. Sherlock may be the one that gets all the fame and attention, but he couldn’t do it without this faithful sidekick.
  9. The Griswolds head to Europe in the sequel to Vacation, and at one point Clark gets caught in a round-a-bout and continually points out what well-known landmark in London?
  10. Simon Pegg plays the title character in this popular horror comedy about a zombie apocalypse in England
  11. TIEBREAKER! Keep your eyes peeled to the sky if you need help with misbehaving kids because this nanny might come floating down with an umbrella to help

ANSWERS:

  1. Paddington – The movie Paddington 2 has the highest ever rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is the best rated movie of all time.
  2. Sean Connery – The internet blew up recently when it was announced that the classic game Goldeneye on Nintendo 64 will be released online soon.
  3. Austin Powers – The fourth film keeps getting pitched but there is no word yet on if Mike Meyers gets around to wanting to do it.
  4. Harry Potter – Daniel Radcliffie, who played Potter in the movies said that he moved onto a bigger life after being Harry.
  5. Tomb Raider – In the 1990s there were always rumors about a alleged “Nude Raider” code where Lara would be naked, but much to the dismay of horny gamers everywhere, the rumors were not true.
  6. Mr Bean – Bean is a Brit, but he is beloved worldwide. The original show has aired in over 190 countries.
  7. Ted Lasso- Although a totally fictional team, you can now buy all sorts of AFC Richmond merchandise and even play as them in the newest version of FIFA.
  8. Watson – Plenty of actors have portrayed Watson, but most recently it was Jude Law who starred alongside Robert Downey Junior
  9. Big Ben – The creator of the series John Hughes said the studio was begging him to do a sequel but he refused but gave them the go-ahead to do it without him. He would later return for the third film Christmas Vacation
  10. Shaun of the Dead – Before landing on the title Shaun of the Dead, the movie was called Tea Time of the Dead.
  11. TIEBREAKER: Mary Poppins
Dad Fights 104 – Killer Animals Quiz

Dad Fights 104 – Killer Animals Quiz

Posted on September 23, 2022

Randy: 5 Brad: 3

QUESTIONS

  1. Only 60 people get attacked by these animals a year, but they are one of the most feared animals, perhaps because of a movie from 1975 that made people afraid to go in the water. 
  2. These beasts go through about 4,000 teeth in their lifetime and they quite often pop up in news stories from the state of Florida
  3. Experts estimate this animal kills about 500 people per year, but they are much more friendly in a classic children’s board game where they just eat marbles
  4. This venomous African snake can get up to 14-feet long and even inspired the nickname for the late Kobe Bryant
  5. They might be small, but these little buggers are responsible for over 750,000 deaths a year. Some people joke it would make sense if they were the state bird of Minnesota
  6. This type of animal kills about 11 people per year in North America, but thankfully there are friendly ones who are more concerned with preventing forest fires or stealing picnic baskets. 
  7. You wouldn’t wanna tangle with this animal who is one of the largest in the animal kingdom, in fact their trunk alone can weigh 300 pounds
  8. About 2,500 people a year get hauled off to poison control because of this spider that has a red dot on it. 
  9. One of the characters in Mortal Kombat was named after this deadly creature that can kill you with their claws and stinger tale. 
  10. These beasts are responsible for 200 human deaths every year but we forgive them for it because they have a delicious sauce named after them. 
  11. TIEBREAKER: Believe it or not, these animals are responsible for killing 25,000 people a year. Man’s best friend my ass…

ANSWERS

  1. Sharks
  2. Crocodiles
  3. Hippos
  4. Black Mamba
  5. Mosquitos
  6. Bears
  7. Elephants
  8. Black Widow
  9. Scorpions
  10. Buffalo
  11. Dogs
Dad Fights 103 – Monday Edition Quiz

Dad Fights 103 – Monday Edition Quiz

Posted on September 16, 2022

Brad: 4 – Randy: 3

QUESTIONS

  1. It was a Monday all the way back in 1907 when this individually wrapped chocolate treat made by Hersey was introduced.
  2. While this comic strip may not have debuted on a Monday, this lasagna-loving feline is well-known for hating himself a Monday. 
  3. On a Monday in 1969 in California Diana Ross introduced this young five-person musical act to audiences for the very first time. 
  4. It is kinda fitting this time-wasting website was launched on a Monday to give people a full work week of slacking off while watching videos. 
  5. This iconic cartoon character started small on a Monday in 1903 with just a short comic strip but now the guy has a few of his own worlds across the globe. 
  6. Back on Monday, August 3rd 1936 this famous Olympian won the first of his four gold medals in the Summer Games in Berlin
  7. The first episode of Total Request live on MTV aired on a Monday in 1998 and was hosted by this current member of the NBC Today Show
  8. It was on a Monday in 1959 when this iconic doll line was introduced and sparked generations of young boys to look up her skirt to see if she was anatomically correct. 
  9. This stadium had been around for 112 years before a Monday in August in 1988 when they played their first-ever night game. 
  10. It was Monday, September 4, 1995 when WCW NItro aired for the first time at what shopping mall?
  11. TIEBREAKER: Late-night infomercials changed forever on a Monday in 1977 when this hair-growing “pet” was released

ANSWERS

  1. Hershey Kiss
  2. Garfield
  3. Jackson 5
  4. YouTube
  5. Mickey Mouse
  6. Jesse Owens
  7. Carson Daly
  8. Barbie
  9. Wrigley Field
  10. Mall of America
  11. TIEBREAKER: Chia Pet
Dad Fights #102 – Retired NFL Numbers Quiz

Dad Fights #102 – Retired NFL Numbers Quiz

Posted on September 9, 2022

Randy 6 – Brad 3

QUESTIONS:

  1. Green Bay Packers – Jersey No. 92
  2. San Francisco 49ers – Jersey No. 87 
  3. Seattle Seahawks – Jersey No. 45
  4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jersey No. 99
  5. Miami Dolphins – Jersey No. 12
  6. Atlanta Falcons – Jersey No. 10
  7. New York Jets – Jersey No. 28
  8. New York Giants – Jersey No. 11
  9. Los Angeles Rams – Jersey No. 85
  10. Kansas City Chiefs – Jersey No. 3
  11. TIEBREAKER: Philadelphia Eagles – Jersey No. 5 

ANSWERS:

  1. Reggie White
  2. Dwight Clark
  3. Kenny Easley 
  4. Warren Sapp
  5. Bob Griese 
  6. Steve Bartowski 
  7. Curtis Martin
  8. Phill Simms
  9. Jack Youngblood
  10. Jan Stenerud 
  11. TIEBREAKER: Donovan McNabb
Dad Fights #101: 1983 Edition Quiz

Dad Fights #101: 1983 Edition Quiz

Posted on September 2, 2022

Randy: 5 – Brad: 4.

Missed today’s episode of the Half-Assed Morning Show? No problem! Catch up on-demand!

QUESTIONS

  1. This beautiful actress from That 70s Show and Family Guy was born in 1983, a day Ashley wishes never happened because she is now married to Ashton Kuetcher. 
  2. Scarface was a huge hit in 1983 and featured Al Pacino snorting enough cocaine to kill an elephant as this famous character. 
  3. This iconic rock band appeared before the media in September of 1983. This typically wouldn’t be news since they had been all over the world for about a decade, but this was the first time without their signature makeup. 
  4. One fun fact about the 1983 World Series is that it was the first Fall Classic since 1956 where the two teams didn’t use air travel since these two teams were about 100 miles apart. 
  5. The biggest hit song of 1983 was recently named the “most played song in the history of radio” and it also won three Grammys for The Police
  6. I pity the fool that doesn’t remember that this show featuring characters like Murdock, Faceman, Baracus, and Hannibal debuted in 1983. 
  7. 1983 was a big year for this actor. Not only did he get married, but he starred in the No. 1 movie of the year, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. 
  8. The New York sewer system experienced a 6.7 million gallon flush hike immediately after the series finale of this show, still the most watched finale of all-time. 
  9. This singer was literally on fire in 1983 when his hair went up in flames while filming in a Pepsi commercial. 
  10. The movie Vacation came out in 1983 and saw the Griswold family loading up the family truckster to go to what fictional amusement park? 
  11. TIEBREAKER: The 1983 NFL season was notable because teams only played 9 regular season games…how come?

ANSWERS

  1. Mila Kunis
  2. Tony Montana 
  3. Kiss
  4. Philadelphia Phillies and Baltimore Orioles
  5. Every Breath You Take
  6. The A-Team
  7. Harrison Ford
  8. MASH
  9. Michael Jackson
  10. Wally World
  11. TIEBREAKER: Strike shortened season
Dad Fights 100 – Grandstand Acts Quiz

Dad Fights 100 – Grandstand Acts Quiz

Posted on August 26, 2022

QUESTIONS

  1. If you met the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish after their 2019 Grandstand show, it would’ve been impolite to call him Hootie. You should call him by his real name instead. 
  2. This legendary performer is a favorite on this program and has made multiple appearances at the State Fair Grandstand and always delivers a *weird* show.
  3. If you were at the Grandstand in 1999, you may have seen my guy Nick jamming out at the Journey show where Steve Augeri was on lead vocals having just replaced what legendary frontman?
  4. Motley Crue played the Grandstand in 2012 but were actually opening up this band that has an army of fans all in facepaint. 
  5. Back in 1999, just two hours before her show, Kelly Clarkson had to cancel for vocal issues. She is the current host of a day-time talk show and was the winner of the first season of what singing show.
  6. It isn’t just musical acts at the Grandstand. Back in 2013 there was a comedy show with Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller, and Kevin Neelan who all worked together in the 1990s on what TV show?
  7. This legendary 80s band from England has packed the Grandstand a number of times, but earlier this month across town they packed US Bank Stadium. 
  8. 1990 had one of the more bizarre acts to hit the Grandstand when there was a performance by mascot versions of characters from this TV show featuring Maggie, Lisa, Marge, Bart and Homer. 
  9. Kenny Loggins played the State Fair Grandstand in 1985 but recently he made some money after which of his songs was used in Top Gun: Maverick.
  10. He wasn’t with the band he is famous for in the Grandstand in 2001, instead this frontman with a gem of a nickname performed solo. 
  11. TIEBREAKER: You aren’t likely to see Nick at the Grandstand next Tuesday for a performance by this comedian who is associated with Hot Pockets

ANSWERS

  1. Darrius Rucker
  2. Weird Al Yankovic
  3. Steve Perry
  4. KISS
  5. American Idol
  6. SNL
  7. Def Leppard
  8. The Simpsons
  9. Danger Zone
  10. David Lee Roth
  11. TIEBREAKER: Jim Gaiffgan 

Wappel’s Pineapple Barbecue Sauce

Posted on August 19, 2022

Wappel’s Pineapple Barbecue Sauce

  • 1 cup pineapple juice
  • ¼ Pineapple or 5-6 pineapple rings diced into chunks
  • 1 Tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 garlic cloves minced
  • 2/3 cup ketchup
  • 2/3 cup brown sugar
  • ¼ cup apple cider vinegar
  • 1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 2 teaspoons black pepper
  1. Drizzle olive oil in a medium-sized saucepan and add minced garlic. Cook over low heat for 2 minutes.
  2. Place cooked garlic in a medium-sized mixing bowl with ketchup, brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, pineapple juice, Worcester sauce, soy sauce, dry mustard, ground ginger, and black pepper. Whisk it all together.
  3. Put the mixture back in the saucepan and bring to a boil stirring constantly. Once the sauce is boiling turn the heat down to low and keep stirring for 2-4 minutes. (If you want a thicker sauce, boil it longer to desired consistency.)
  4. Remove from heat and stir in the pineapple chunks

*If the sauce is in an airtight container in the refrigerator it’s good for up to 2 months

Dad Fights 69 + 29: Legendary Female Athletes Quiz

Dad Fights 69 + 29: Legendary Female Athletes Quiz

Posted on August 12, 2022

Final Score: Randy 5 – Brad 4

QUESTIONS

  1. This two-time World Cup champion scored 158 goals in her US career and has a last name that might make you hungry for a sandwich.
  2. You may have seen this gold medalist doing commercials for Subway recently, in fact her height if measured in footlong Subway subs would be just over 4-and-a-half subs at 4-foot 8-inches tall.
  3. Brad had a front row seat at Target Center for some of this athlete’s best performances where she would perform at halftime on a unicycle while balancing bowls on her head.
  4. This “Ninth Wonder of the World” is the only woman to ever hold the WWE Intercontinental Championship but you pervs probably know her because she posed in Playboy.
  5. Josh’s softball-loving daughter had a poster on her wall growing up of this gold medalist pitcher.
  6. Before winning gold medals and World Cups, you could have traveled down 35W and saw her train at Buck Hill in Burnsville.
  7. This speedster was a pioneer for women in her sport and you could always tell it was her when you turned on TV and saw her recognizable GoDaddy car.
  8. This gold medal athlete literally did a front flip off the mound recently after throwing out the first pitch in front of her hometown fans at Target Field.
  9. Some folks say this two-time NCAA champion and gold medalist was even better than her little brother who was also pretty good at hoops himself.
  10. This tennis legend won 39 major titles in her career, or 40 if you count her victory over Bobby Riggs in the Battle of the Sexes.

TIEBREAKER

  1. Minnesota Gopher and Lynx legend Lindsay Whalen grew up in what Minnesota town?

ANSWERS

  1. Mia Hamm – Mia is married to former shortstop Nomar Garciaparra. The two have three children together and I am sure there is no pressure there for them to be great athletes.
  2. Simone Biles – She was a natural gymnast from the start. She taught herself how to do backflips off mailboxes at five years old.
  3. Red Panda – She started doing NBA games in 1993 on Thanksgiving Day after an act canceled at the last minute. In 2018 her unicycle got stolen and she had to make one using spare parts. After hearing the story the Golden State Warriors bought her a new one.
  4. Chyna – She was also the first ever woman to compete in the Royal Rumble back before they had a separate Rumble for women.
  5. Jennie Finch – Time Magazine called her the most famous softball player in history. She retired in 2010 but still pops up on ESPN to do commentary during the college softball World Series.
  6. Lindsey Vonn – She was already on skis at the age of two. Her family moved from Burnsville to Colorado in the early 90s so she could concentrate on skiing.
  7. Danica Patrick – Danica was in the news recently when she told a story about her and then-boyfriend doing a bunch of drugs down in Peru.
  8. Suni Lee – She is now competing at Auburn and also appeared on Dancing With the Stars after the 2020 Olympics and finished 5th.
  9. Cheryl Miller – This even came up in an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine kept referring to Reggie Miller as “Cheryl’s younger brother.”
  10. Billie Jean King – The match was held at the Astrodome in 1973 and was viewed by more than 50 million people in the US alone.

TIEBREAKER

  1. Hutchinson

Image credit: Killer Jesus

PHOTOS: 2022 Half-Assed Morning Show Booze Cruise

PHOTOS: 2022 Half-Assed Morning Show Booze Cruise

Posted on July 14, 2022

Photo credit: Justin Treberg

Matthew McConaughey’s ‘Bless The Mood’ Song For New Arena At Texas

Matthew McConaughey’s ‘Bless The Mood’ Song For New Arena At Texas

Posted on April 25, 2022

Actor and University of Texas Minister of Culture Matthew McConaughey attended the ribbon-cutting ceremony for their new arena Moody Center. McConaughey spoke at the event and then sang a song “Bless The Mood” where he tried to get Texas fans to sing back to him, but no one did!

[KXAN]

EAON- Lesson No.1 Music Video

EAON- Lesson No.1 Music Video

Posted on October 5, 2021

Local band EAON released their newest music video today for their song Lesson Number 1! If you like the song you can check them out this Saturday (10/9/2021) at Route 47 Pub & Grub with local powerhouse Cold Kingdom, Johnnyrook and Hawk. Tickets are $15 at the door and they open at 8 pm.